NPR asked about our cause of stress and why

Before I could even process the question, I was already typing:

Everything I do every day impacts my daughter directly or indirectly. I'd like to think I handle stress pretty well, however it still deeply influences me and my ability to be effective in all aspects of my life. I do my best to be optimistic and take things one day at a time and I pay close attention to all the wonderful things in life. But I still carry a heavy weight on my shoulders.

Part of this stress started when I was pregnant with my daughter. I was 18 and taken advantage of by a friend, so I knew from the beginning that I would be a single mom if I decided to raise my child versus giving her to another family through adoption. While it was an extremely difficult decision, I ultimately decided I couldn't trust anyone else to care for my daughter in the way that I knew I could.

The difficulty with this, is that whenever I feel I'm not doing a good enough job, I think about that decision and stress over whether it was the best decision for my daughter. Would she have had a better life if she were raised by a mother and father? Would she have been better off with a parent who stayed home full time? A parent who was older, more experienced, more patient with more resources? Would she have ADHD or would she get straight As?

Absolutely any struggle that she had, I would reflect and naturally doubt myself - wondering if her challenges were because of me.

Generally I'm too distracted with everything I need to manage to fuel this fear, but it still nags at me, especially when I have competing priorities.

I knew I needed to get my college degree so I could get a stable career to support my little family. I knew I needed to get good grades and comprehend my lessons throughout college so I could graduate and apply the learnings to my job. This meant a lot of studying on top of a full-time job, which meant little time left over to play dress up and go to the park.

While I was working towards my degree, I knew I needed to utilize as many government assistance programs as possible to pay rent and keep food on the table. Because so many people take advantage of the system, there are many hoops to jump through - requiring a lot of time, energy, organization and perseverance to actually get the benefits (I was on a wait list for Section 8 housing for four years and by the time they contacted me for a home, I no longer qualified). Again, more strain on my time and energy, leaving little to spend with my daughter.

I worked very hard to get my degree and get an internship with a company that ultimately set my career path in a promising direction. I was able to pinch pennies long enough to have a small savings and once I was getting reliable paychecks, I was able to buy a house. Throughout all the years it took me to finally feel stable, I did try to balance as much as possible so the time I did have with my daughter was quality time. But still, I couldn't help but feel like she deserved more.

So the daily stress through those years was primarily keeping my head above water with my investment for a better future, while still making time to cherish the present moments with my daughter. Finding that balance was tremendously difficult.

From the moment I found out I was going to be a mom to now, much of the daily stress comes not only from managing all the necessities of life - bills, my job, my daughter's schoolwork, her extracurricular activities, my three pets (why did I give myself more work? I have a horrible weakness for animals...), saving money for the future, etc. - but also setting a good example. It is so important to me that I am a good role model for my daughter.

I want her to see me and feel confident in herself that she can be successful, she can be beautiful (without make up and nice clothes!), she can be compassionate and strong, she can stand up for her beliefs but create and maintain peace, that she can make a positive impact in the world and in people's lives.

I know that all the values I want to see her hold, I need to live first. As a result, I've set a pretty high bar for myself.

The struggles I've experienced throughout my life have humbled me greatly and taught me many lessons. Despite the stress that began to take on a physical form through a diagnosis of Fibromyalgia (leading, of course, to more stress...), I still did my best to believe that everything happens for a reason and it's all going to be okay.

I share an incredibly close bond with my daughter, who is now 11 years old. She is an absolutely incredible child who amazes me all the time with her passion, love, empathy and wisdom beyond her years.

While the day-to-day stress continues to challenge my strength and spirit, I am reminded that I am a good mom in the reflection of my beautiful daughter. And that makes it all worth it.