We've lost this battle, but we haven't lost the war

I know a lot of people may feel there are so many injustices in the world. And I’m sure to each person, their personal experience of injustice must feel like the biggest one of all. That’s how I feel. I don’t understand our legal system. Honestly, I don’t really care as much about the big battle between Republicans and Democrats on healthcare, immigration, pro life/pro choice and all the other endless arguments that have divided our nation. I don’t care about them as much as I care about a parent’s right to be with their children when all they have to offer is love and support. WHY is that so hard to achieve for Dads? There is so much complaining going on about deadbeat Dads and how so many don’t care. But as soon as one comes along that is extraordinary – even to the point where he’s arguably more dedicated than the mother – he’s denied the right to share parental responsibility equally? Whoa… wait a minute. Oh yeah, I remember this one – it’s called EQUAL RIGHTS!! Right women? We’ve fought long and hard to be treated equally side by side with men. To be given the same opportunities, the same treatment, etc. But what’s happening now? When we address the issue of parenting, all of a sudden we’re not sharing that with deserving men.


Bottom line with this one, is that our appeal for Mauricio’s hearing to get 50/50 for his girls was denied. For no reason whatsoever. NONE!! It is by far the most frustrating thing I have ever experienced in my life. So where do we go from here? We’ve poured our entire hearts and souls into this battle and still lost. And didn’t lose because of some legitimate argument of why the children would be better off without their father caring for them more than 3 out of 4 weekends each month. We were just denied.


I still need to look into the rules and timelines for when we can go back to court for the exact same thing, because we will. But at this point, do we lay low and practice patience? Do we simply go with it and trust that the Universe knows what It’s doing? That when the time is right we’ll be able to be with our children for the amount of time they deserve to be with us? Because the most heart-wrenching part of this isn’t that we’ll miss them terribly when they’re gone (even though we will), it’s the noticeable difference we’ve seen in them when they’ve been with us versus with their mom for a long period of time. I know for a fact that these girls would benefit tremendously from being with their Dad 50% (or more) of the time. I know this. They tell us this. So the fight is not for us as much as it is for them. It leaves me with such an emptiness in my heart to know that good was not able to triumphant over “evil” and that for a couple of years, these girls will be missing out on such an important opportunity to be with their Dad.


I’m sure everything will be fine, and I still believe everything happens for a reason. But even so, we still have the power to help change occur. And at this point, I’m trying to understand what I should do with this power. And how I should do it. Or should I do it? Should the power I have be exerted through a simple loving and consistent “make-do” attitude with my family and the way things are now? Should we make the best of our situation and wait for the tide to change? Or is there more I can do to help things move along. Is there a need for me to be a revolutionary leader or activist. I mean, where would we be without the activists of history? Certainly not anywhere near where we are today with the Equal Rights movement – the fight for equality among people of all races, origins, religious beliefs and sex. And yeah, we’re still working on gay rights…


Anyway, this is the only thing I feel I have the power to do right now. Voice my feelings and thoughts. Spread the word and hope for the best. And continually reassess my place in this world and what I can and should be doing in it.


So there you have it – Blog #2.