Day 31: My First Gray Hair...Nooooooo!

Yes, it really was that dramatic. A big enough deal that I stopped everyone in my office (who was close to me) from doing their job to carefully examine the piece of hair I plucked out of my head in the women's bathroom. My jaw fell to the floor as I washed my hands and casually examined myself in the mirror. What the...wait a minute...it can't be... Nooooooooo! Thank goodness no one else was around me at the time. Although some lady was in one of the stalls so no doubt heard my loud gasp and subsequent groan.

Un-freaking-believable. Now things are getting serious. I am way to young to have gray hair. Is this a sign of a mid-life crisis?? I think I need to trade in my Subaru Outback for my dream car...a Jag. I'm seriously considering it. I almost bought a puppy for me and Cambria, considering we're no longer getting Maya. Luckily the two Craig's List ads I inquired never got back to me. I soon woke up and realized that was probably not the best idea.

But this car thing - THAT sounds like a good idea.

Other than that, I've been making plans to contact some of the local bands I love and let them know I'm available to sing with them if they'd like. I'd even do it for a low price. I already know all the words to their songs. And the harmonies. And possibly a solo here or there...if that's what they want.

I also decided that since I can no longer afford the medicine for my fibromyalgia, I'm going to have to get cracking on the whole "working out" thing. Bluch. Not a fan of working out. So instead, I'm thinking about joining a recenter volleyball team or something. Also, I need to get back into yoga. And maybe kick-boxing. If I find a Groupon for it.

Speaking of Groupon - I'm now on the look out for a deal on highlights. Lord knows I can't afford it at regular price. Why are highlights so expensive anyway? But this is now necessary to cover up my gray hair. I'm not ready to have gray hair. Plus I'm single again and on the market so I can't LOOK how I FEEL. I must deceive unsuspecting potential suitors so I can trap them and make them fall in love with me so I can get on with my dreams.

I just realized I'd been holding my breath this whole time. Good grief. Get a hold of yourself.

And yes, for those of you who may be wondering whether I'm being at all sarcastic, I am. I hate having to explain that because it truly isn't as witty, but these days no one knows how to pick up on sarcasm over the internet. And since anyone can read my blog and use it to their advantage (Mr. Sperm-Donor, I'm talking to you) I do have to be somewhat careful of what I say. 

Speaking of Sperm-Donor, I finally got up the courage to email him to ask for a legitimate bit of information - his family health history. He responded with a wonderfully thought-out email expressing interest in being part of my daughter's life. I drafted two incredibly awesome emails back to him and I would LOVE to share them here, but again, I have to think big picture. So I scrapped the emails (did I mention they were brilliant) and responded to him that this is not a good time. Which is completely true. And this is for his benefit. It would be in his best interest not to poke and prod the already pissed off Mama Bear. And true to his nature, he hasn't emailed me back - even with the medical information. Gotta love it.

Okay, I think I'm done ranting for tonight. I truly don't know where all that came from. : )