Day 14: Life is Like Branches on a Tree

“We don't accomplish anything in this world alone ... and whatever happens is the result of the whole tapestry of one's life and all the weavings of individual threads from one to another that creates something." 

--Former Justice Sandra Day O'Connor,
first woman on the U.S. Supreme Court

I wanted to share an analogy I used with Cambria a little while ago when I was talking to her about life changes. She really needs consistency in her life. It's so important to her to know what to expect, have a reliable, stable routine that she can count on. She's had to go through many changes already in her 8 years of life. So she tends to feel like the past was somehow better than the present.

One of the reoccurring issues is how she misses my ex-boyfriend. I had started dating him when she was 6 months old and we were together for almost 3 years. She has an incredible memory and will occasionally bring up things that she remembers about me and him. Some are good memories. Some are bad. But she had a hard time letting him go. He was the first "Dad" that she ever knew. Even though he wasn't really much of a Dad to her, she didn't know anything else. 

So during rough times, Cambria sometimes brings up this guy and says how she misses him and wishes she could see him. I've tried different tactics, including playing it off and changing the subject. Simply letting her know that he used to be in our life but he isn't anymore and it's important to focus on what we have now. We weren't meant to be together for longer than we were, and that's okay. She needed to trust that I did what was best for both of us. But during a recent conversation, I realized she could use a little help visualizing how this all worked.

I explained to her that all of us are growing on our own path, similar to branches on a tree. Sometimes branches will intersect or grow near one another. Sometimes they grow close together and then grow apart. The branch that is my life had grown near my ex-boyfriend's for a time, but found that it didn't grow so well in that location. Neither did his. So both of our branches grew apart, in new places. And what ended up happening is that they both flourished. They each found a place where they could get the light and nourishment they needed to grow as big and beautiful and healthy as possible. And my branch ended up growing near Mauricio's. And Mauricio's branch had 2 little offspring branches that grew near my one little offspring branch. And my ex-boyfriend, although his branch grew in some dark, malnourished places for a little while, he too ended up finding a path that was good for him.

I imagined a really cool, winding tree as I explained this to her. I'll work on drawing it and when I do, I'll share it here. But for now - it's up to your imagination. If that happens to be your cup of tea.

The point is to grow. Keep growing.

Photo found on: http://earthsky.org/biodiversity/tree-branch-growth-direction