Day 15: Freewriting

Okay, I originally had some ideas of what I wanted to write about but since then I've had a couple glasses of wine and waited till later so I've lost my original thoughts....freewriting it is!

Let's see...I don't think I've actually done this since I don't even know - Elementary School maybe? I'm trying my best not to think too hard and just write my thoughts as they come out. The funny, and yet ironic thing about this is that lately I've been going between two extremes. One is that my mind is completely blank. That I've wanted to have some good, original thoughts. That I've wanted answers to questions. Etc. And no matter how hard I try I just can't come up with anything. The other extreme of course is the exact opposite - with the same problem (why is it that no matter what, our problems seem to stick around). My mind has been so cluttered that I can't find clarity. I can't push aside all the shit to get to a decent, intelligible thought. I can't move aside all the meaningless crap that's taking up space in my mind to make room for the answers I'm looking for.

This whole idea by the way that we're searching for answers is fascinating. Is there such a thing as "the right answer"? Because if there is - Mauricio's looking for it. We'd all appreciate someone giving him a hint to what that is. Okay, I am too. Really though, I'm not naive. I know everyone's looking for an answer of some kind or another. If anything, my hope is that most, if not all of us are at the very least looking for the answer to the timeless question of why we're all here. What we're supposed to be doing. Are we on the right track? Are we making progress? Is it really worth it? And so on...

Well, to be completely honest I'm sure I could continue this freewriting thing for a long, long time. I mean, our minds never really turn off do they? But how interesting would that be to read. Plus my higher, more responsible self is gently and lovingly reminding me that unlike many Americans, I actually do have work in the morning. On a quick, last note - Martin Luther King Jr. was freaking amazingly awesome. That's right. We all know it. But somehow over the years it's because we know it that the true amazingness, the awesomeness of him and what he did feels like it's sort of ... normal. Expected. Old news. Unfortunately many people now look at tomorrow as a day off work or school. I wonder if it's possible for us to really soak in that original feeling of extreme world-changing value that this man had on all of us. 

I guess it's kind of like my situation. It might be a stretch, but hey I'm the one writing the blog. But I do feel like there is something to be said about love when it first occurs. And love after years and years of togetherness. How easy it is to take for granted the amazingness that you may have. It's easy to notice when it's new and fresh and you've never experienced anything like it before. But what happens when that turns into the norm? What happens when that fresh, newness isn't so fresh and new anymore? You reinvent it I guess. That's what I'd guess. That's what I'd like. But I'm only one person. 

So I guess what I'd like to take away from this blog post, is that I am just like MLK. : ) Okay, I'm joking. The one thing we have in common is that we're amazing and people have gotten used to our incredibleness. But seriously, he was great. I'm not so bad. But I am tired. And I've rambled a sufficient amount of words for my blog tonight. I feel proud. 

Happy MLK day tomorrow.